Aaron's Blog
Life and Death
Posted Mar. 15th, 2007
I just returned from a wonderful weekend away on retreat at Centre Christus, a Jesuit retreat center only about 20 minutes from our home. It’s a relatively quite sanctuary amidst the bustling city, where cows wander around munching grass and a cacophony of birds wake you early in the morning. The liturgies are vibrant and packed with people; I arrived half an hour early and got one of the last seats. And for those who arrive late or who prefer a little extra elbowroom, an expansive old African tree spreads its limbs and blankets the benches beneath with shade, making a peaceful natural sanctuary just behind the chapel.
I was sitting under that same tree a few days before when I noticed a rather large headstone farther down the hill, surrounded by stones and flowers. Curious, I walked over and read the words with sadness but not surprise: In memory of the 17 Brothers and Sisters who were killed here on April 7, 1994. It was late in the evening of April 6th that the genocide began, meaning that Centre Christus was one of the first places the killers arrived. It is true that virtually no one was spared the horror of those dark days.
Click for a larger view.
Now, thirteen years later, it is hard to imagine the destruction that swept across Rwanda in 1994. Today, Centre Christus is like a small slice of heaven on earth—quiet and serene, peaceful and prayerful. But as I walked around, meditating on the juxtaposition of life and death in our world, I was surprised to hear the sound of metal clinking on the stones beneath my feet. Looking down, I discovered a large caliber bullet—old, rusted and with a large dent in one side. I have little doubt that it has been lying there for all these years; after all, how often do Jesuits carry machine guns? It seems quite ironic that this bullet found a new home amidst my personal keepsakes. At least for now, I am holding on to it as a reminder that the distance between life and death is sometimes much shorter than I imagine. I thank God that it ended up in my drawer, as opposed to in the body of one of the Jesuit brothers or sisters.
This year, April 6th happens to fall on Good Friday, the day Christians commemorate the crucifixion of Jesus. We have been told that April is a terribly difficult month in Rwanda, as the unwanted memories and pain come flooding back for many. And while it is somehow appropriate that the two days coincide this year, it is also hard to imagine how the Jesuits at Centre Christus will move from the memory of their brothers and sisters being murdered on the 7th to the joy of Easter Sunday on the 8th.
As these days of Lent continue, I invite you to pray with me for Rwanda. For even as we fall in love with its green hills and stunning vistas, we are reminded that the distance between life and death is never as great as we imagine, and the pain of the genocide, while somewhat buried by the earth’s cycles around the sun, remains fresh and palpable for most of our new friends here.
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